WT

When in a new city, there comes a point when you get enticed by the possibility of a friend showing up, even if its for all the wrong reasons. An adrenalin rush sets in, keeping you revved up and perky enough to walk 2 kilometres in the scorching heat to reach Dadar station. Dragging your nose through the foul smell of roadside fish displays, little kids making poo on the sidewalk, and the nauseating smell of cheap quality cooking oil from the dingy restaurants on either side of the road, you reach the steps up to Dadar station. The phone rings and a shrill voice yells out asking what's keeping you for so long. Enter Vibhuti (am defying my principle of not naming people for this post since it is because of this moronic dumbass that this post has come about).

Dadar is renowned for the number of people that opt to use the local even on a Sunday - it feels like a regular working day. Unwanting to stand in queue for the ticket, already drenched in sweat from the long walk, I gave Vibs a call, asking her a simple question - "Did you get the ticketS ?", to which she replied "ya" in her usual blunt Gujju way. Happy not to have spent the next half hour standing in queue with people who are intent on wiping sweat off on your shirt, or sneezing in your face, let alone having one hand over my right butt to keep myself safe from pick-pockets, I went down to platform number 2, expecting the numbnut to be standing there, most probably near a weighing machine, deep in a dilemma whether to finally confront reality about her weight or not.

I walked the entire length of the platform. No sign of a fat midget. I walked the entire length backwards. Still no sight of someone with a finger up their nose. Where could the illiterate bugger be? Gave her a call again, and after a lot of insistence asked her to enquire from anyone standing next to her what platform she was on. Lesson in life: Never expect the other person to be sensible enough to ask what the possible reason for a mix-up could be. Only after asking people myself did I realise that I was on the Central line and she on the western. Walked to her platform and felt like giving her a tight whack at the back of her head - but I guess my "morals" as a guy gave in!

After exchanging our regular round of profanities and making nasty faces at each other, we waited for the next train to Churchgate. Scorching heat, and Churchgate, you ask ? Well our little nincompoop here decided that she wanted to meet up at around 11 which eventually translated to us being out in the sun at NOON !! Wonder how long it would be before I can forgive her for all the dumbness that oozed that day out of that fried head of hers! We boarded the local, luckily got seats, and were catching up on the past few months, when unlike a regular day, the TT showed up. Had to be irregular didn't it - I didn't have to stand in queue, we got seats at Dadar - how can a journey be so smooth? Ronak (the wiser sister) had called, and while the ignorant fool was chatting away on the phone, I asked her for the tickets. She gave me a quizzical look as I took it from her and gave it to the TT for verification, sat back and relaxed. Moment of truth - as he peered down from behind his specs, he gave me a look and told me it was FOR JUST ONE PERSON !! :( Need I continue the rest of the story ?

My mouth dropped down to the ground - I could have taken a ticket, I did not even intend on frauding on a local ticket that costs just 6 bucks !! And here I was, the centre of attention as the bloke who defaulted on a sum that won't even get me a decent orange bar from the roadside ice-cream vendor! :( 260 bucks is what I ended up paying because of this fool who could not help laughing on the phone relating the story to her sister, as I took out 3 big ones out of my wallet.

Am not going to give certain people the pleasure of describing exactly the look on my face or the moment any further - its punishment for dabbling and getting your kicks out of my misery! But yes, I would conclude with two points of consideration:

1. How can you NOT hear the "s" at the end of "tickets" ? Am I supposed to hiss it out like a snake to enunciate and make it crystal clear ?! ;)
   
2. How inconsiderate and miserly can you be to get just ONE ticket for yourself and not care about your friend, if the difference you would have to pay is just a meagre 2 bucks ?!

Vibhuti, STOP LAUGHING you prick !! ;(