Of etiquette and common sense ..

In the mid-20s it becomes a dilemma as to whether we are youngsters or mature adults. The anxiety of responsibilities lingers and the fervour of youth remains. At such a juncture in life simple things might get a little too complicated. I experienced such a confusion yesterday in Singapore. At the outset of this post I'd like to send a disclaimer that I ain't all that well versed with table manners et al so pardon my ignorance :)

Two of my friends and I were having lunch yesterday at the "Outback Steakhouse" - I still maintain that I'm a vegetarian ;) Truth be told, despite having had a crab already at a Jap restaurant, I didn't have the balls to go in for the fish after looking at the photograph in the menu, so like a devout Indian, I ordered the murgi .. chicken wings to be precise. Now normally I'd not give a damn about the way I ate, but unfortunately one of the two guys was a chinku and I just had to hold my country's head high and show him that we have good table manners too. The order was placed and the chinku, hereon referred to as D'Seung (disclaimer: I do not know how to spell his name, so ma guessing from the way it sounds that this would be the spelling) ordered the marinated or something like that grilled fish. We waited, about 20 minutes before the dishes arrived. The chicken wings in front of me and my friend (obviously a serving each) and the gooey, dark almost alive salmon in front of D'Seung. Very conscious of having non-Indian company, I picked up the knife and fork, fiddling with them, switching hands unsure of which one to hold in the right hand and which in the left! Finally, the fork ended up in the right and the knife in the left ( DO NOT bother correcting me if I was wrong). The urge was to chuck the fork and knife and start gnawing at the wings, because c'mon whoever had a boney piece of chicken with a knife and a fork in India ?!

I struggled with the first two pieces, creating more of clattering noise with the fork banging against he porcelain plate than the kid whining on the next table. A chunk of meat actually flew by near the water, as I conveniently placed the coaster over the broken rock from the plate I saw carrots on my plate, liberation at last! I put the knife and fork down, munching happily on carrots with cheese dip. But alas, as I slowly nibbled my way to the end of the last carrot, the soiled cutlery was staring in my face, daring me to pick them up and make a meal out of the chicken. Unwavered from my resolve of proving a point by sticking to the fork and knife, I went about the turmoil again, so much so that after the fifth piece I had to put the fork down as the slicing and pulling had sent the joints of my index finger numb. All this while I hadn't been paying heed to D'Seung except for of course the occasional question to make small talk. At the last piece I surrendered and gently placed the fork and knife in a closing position on the plate, careful not to cause a clatter, as if that were going to change the fact that I had made sure that the passers-by outside the restaurant knew there was porcelain plates inside!

Sipped on the ice water, and looked in different directions, anything to get my mind off the last piece, and as I watched D'Seung munch happily on his fish with parts of it in hand, I just could not stop staring. Here I was busting my ass to look good and well versed in table manners, and there was this chinku who just wanted to enjoy his meal come what may. The embarrassment didn't let me pick up the last piece and munch at it joyfully, but I realised one thing - its our thinking that keeps us ahead or behind people, I've been looking down upon our culture as not congenial to the modern ways, but I guess I was wrong. I mean who was I kidding, chicken wings with a fork and a knife ?! Gimme a break !! I consciously killed the inner voice in me that told me to pick up the piece for heaven;s sake and just bite at it.

End result - I ended up wearing a kurta to a pub today and got a few smiles on my way out ;) This place is cosmopolitan so make the most of it, as long as you think you're confident of what you do, nobody can take that charm away from you. So here I am, still in my kurta, a little drunk after the Heineken, sporting a Singaporean hairdo telling you of the time I, contrary to my usual behaviour, gave in to etiquette and fed common sense to the dogs! ;)