Happiness (more or less)

Whenever you bring up the topic of happiness, more often than not, people tend to picture an overwhelmingly content Buddha, smiling. We tend to shake off the relevance of this talk saying we'd prefer to experience both the ups and downs of life. To be too happy can get nauseatingly infectious. We argue that in striving for happiness all the time, we tend to miss out on life's more subtle moments and in turn end up chasing our own tails in a futile attempt to achieve nirvana. Ergo, the pursuit of happiness is not for me.

Wrong!

Let me start off with a rather grim example, a person who hangs himself, commits suicide is looking to put an end to suffering. Doesn't justify his actions, but it brings to light the motive of wanting a cessation to an ordeal, achieving partial if not complete contentment. The method is flawed but the ends are not. At this point you must be caught up wondering what exactly is happiness ? Some say it is accepting the past, living your present and ensuring a bright future. Another school of thought goes on to describe it as purely enjoying the freshness of the moment and not worrying about what the future holds for us. When these contrasting views collide, we often dismiss the clash as futile, since none of the involved are willing to change. Had happiness been a secondary issue in life, it would have made perfect sense to act indifferent to the duel. But in whatever we do there transgresses a willingness to be happy, then why is such a primary emotion not crystal clear in our heads?! Is it dismissible as just another ensuing debate?

Probably the fact that we do not know "happiness" is why we are running away from it, constantly. Confusions, also contribute to our ambiguity. The biggest one for us as emotional denizens of Earth is the confusion between happiness and pleasure. Pleasure is contextual, transient, and ephemeral. It is like a chocolate cake. The first serving just melts in your mouth, the oohs and the aahs complimenting the blissful pleasure the tongue tingles with. The second one plays a little and rides high on the tide of complete surrender to pleasure, but shove a third piece down someone's throat and the same cake gets all the calories, fat, heavy chocolate, written all over it, disgusting you with equal fervour. The bakery smell that lifts you up, now has started you off on a hunt for a bag to breathe into lest you puke for overdose on sweetness. This is pleasure - fleeting and short-lived. What then is happiness? It is one of the most vague and loosely used words in the English language. But that still doesn't answer the question.

Happiness, is a state of well being. A deep sense of serenity and fulfillment. An underlying emotion that encompasses all human sentiment. Is that possible? Can we have a common sentiment that relates to all ? Consider this. The bedrock of the ocean - stable, constant. The surface might have a rising tide, with surfers enjoying or work up a storm, devastating all that comes in its path. What goes on above does not change the sanctity or the truth of the bedrock, just as happiness establishes and manifests itself through all human sentiment. But is this analogy sufficient for us to relate joy and fulfillment to completely antagonising emotions as sorrow and anger? It depends on what we realise as the level at which happiness exists. On a lighter note, can we not rejoice in someone else's suffering ? :) This question demands a full-fledged discussion, which is why am leaving it open.

Happiness can only be a state of being, not a fleeting emotion. How can we succeed at being happy then? We look outside. We try to gather everything that would make us happy. That very thinking spells doom and signs our efforts off to failure because if we miss out on one thing, the feeling of accomplishment and contentment evaporates. We look outward to garner happiness and keep ourselves satisfied with life, and forget to build from within. We make our happiness contingent upon external successes, like having an apartment on the 100th floor of a beautiful New York skyscraper, but if happiness does not come from within, all we are going to be looking for even in that multi-million dollar apartment is a single window to jump out from.

The question now is, is it possible to change ? Can we change our state of being? We pacify our conscience saying it is too late to change, that the formative years of our lives are now behind us. Wrong again. It is out cognitive ability, the capacity to reason with our conscience that makes us apt to change. Emotions are volatile, and this is the way to proceed. To attain a sense of inner freedom, and refrain from emotions that deter happiness. It is through this mind training that we attain true self-awareness and satisfaction. The path to happiness starts from within and pervades our true state of consciousness, and it is never too late to start afresh.

PS: I still have not faced my quarter life crisis so do not consider this to be one :)