Adieu ..

After hating, cribbing, and cursing the city of Ahmedabad, am feeling nostalgic sitting here in my dorm room, all bags packed, ready to take a train for Delhi in a couple of hours. I still remember the first day here when everything seemed gloomy and dull, and gave an uneasy feeling in the stomach that something bad was going to happen. The first year was miserable, more to regret than to cherish. The only places I frequented were probably the malls and an off-chance movie at one of the multiplexes. Academic pressure was so immense that vacations felt blissful and we would take every opportunity to flee this God forsaken city. With no local points of contact, even an attempt to join AIESEC proved unfruitful. No friends. No relatives. We felt like strangers throughout that period. Everything we wanted to get involved with proved to be a goose chase with no results - ranging from a cellphone recharge shop to a sports club - futility was what we felt.

So why then am I nostalgic? What changed in me, because there is no way this city experienced a sea change? It is easy to develop a dislike and equally difficult to feel a warmth towards something. The past two years have not been the easiest in life, and I have experienced a multitude of ups and downs - personally and professionally. This is the same place where I was overjoyed with my summer placement, and the same where anxiety was on the verge of killing me for final placements. I still have not answered the question though. Why is it so difficult to leave Ahmedabad now? Was it not what I had been waiting for all this while? Was it not me who said I'd be glad to leave my alma mater as soon as possible?

Emotions defy logic. Its probably something I have learnt the hard way. But now, when am about to leave and reflect on all the phases in the past, I cannot help but smile. The get-togethers in Poply's room, where we used to pain his happiness till he finally yelled out for us to get out, the weekend visit to malls, just to window shop and get some decent grub, better than the mess food, the hunt for a swimming pool, which was within budget and clean too - how we drove the auto-rickshaw driver nuts describing the place we wanted him to take us. All these short memories, even though not always funny have become a part of the time we spent here, and funnily enough, I do not remember the painful classroom sessions or the demoralising surprise quizzes, but the little tid-bits of time spent among friends, and strangers, and how coming to Gujarat opened my eyes to how wonderful Indian people and India can be.

Staying up late in the night in second year, playing Quake with Harry and Poply, then running off to do the chicken dance in front of the loser's room, the weird conversations with Chipco where both of us discussed the trivialities of life, poking fun at people's ignorance, and having long discussions on why the chicken crossed the road! :) The occasional booze sessions, where Thylo used to be the one to turn in drunk and then follow up with his melodramatics, or yelling out from the dorm window who was banging whom ! :D Fielding in the gallery of the second floor, with Harry producing his spin wizardry and Poply unwilling to budge hitting the ball with whichever limb possible. :P The pizza parties. The dorm dinners. The hoax. The faccha gyan sessions.

But I will say that probably the last two months of my stay here have changed everything for me. I might not have been in the best of health, or the highest spirits, but I made two amazing friends, and I realised through them how much enjoyable life in Gujarat could be. I pity those Delhiites or Bangaloreans who dismissed Gujarat as a dry state even when it comes to having fun. To be able to go out into the city, or to places like Baroda, is what makes you see what Gujarat feels like. It isn't the case that I was pulled out of a downward spiral, but just that it presented me with an experience where I forgot completely about the negative aspects of where I was, and let myself enjoy the moment and soak in all the fun around. The long talks, chit-chat on old memories, leg pulling sessions, pointless banter and frequent chuckles, Bombay sandwich, all made the day wonderful. :) I won't elaborate too much on this, because I do not want to label these moments of ecstasy and archive them in a folder called "sweet memories" in my head, but rather have them fresh, just lingering at the back of my head, with vague recollections that would keep hitting me on and off, and bring a smile to my face. :)

I kept cribbing these two years on how miserable life had been at the institute, but now that am leaving, the miseries do not stick, but what remains in the conscience is a feeling of belonging to a dorm, an institute, a place, a city, and above all to friends which has become and will always be an integral part of my life. ;)