Bovine Divination

India is a nation of typecasting.  We just love the prejudice in Pride and Prejudice, no matter how much Mr. Darcy's pride might appeal as a well-rounded character, it is always Jane Austen's portrayal of  Elizabeth's first impressions we closely identify with.  But then again, we're not here to discuss literature.  So lets go to something more basic, closer to the world's concept of "Indian-ness" - lets talk about cows.

Kolkata - The land of rosogolla and sondesh, the land of muri and puchka, Kolkata is probably the lone city in India which qualifies to bear any resemblance to the times when the Queen was more than just head of the Commonwealth.  With hand-pulled rickshaws, shaky corrugated roofs, and the Victoria Memorial as one of the key attractions, the city holds true to its past.  Clubs jumping to the beats of the most successful VJs, Park Street bustling with tourists, and the locale of Gariahat becoming the new shopping haven, the city is embracing the future as well.  It is this concoction of tradition and modernism that I witnessed one morning waking up at the break of dawn at my flat in Garcha.  Rubbing my eyes to wipe off the remnants of last night's nightmare, I moved to the window for the customary fresh morning breeze I had gotten used to for the past few weeks.  As I stood there, eyes shut, rising on my toes, facing skyward, there it came, the tingling of a bell and bellow of an animal.  It was the Banerjee's newly wed couple, no am not talking about the cow here.  The new bride had come out, wrapped up on the cold morning in an oversized bathrobe as she handed over the vessel to the dhoti-clad man as he bent down, pushed the stool a little closer, placed the vessel on the ground and milked the cow as she happily munched on straw being fed to her by the newest Banerjee.  Two hours later as I got out to visit the embassy, there she was young Mrs. Banerjee with a white coat over her arm - a doctor eh!  I could not resist my curiosity and had to walk up to her to ask ,the what I knew beforehand, redundant question.  You're a doc, why stop the usual Banerjee way of life with senior Banerjee going to Mother Dairy to get pasteurized milk?  She just smiled, scrambled my hair, "There is just something very magical about Gao Mata. "  So much for expecting reason out of a doctor at least. Next.

Mumbai - Mumbai has outgrown its roots with traditional India faster than any other city, possibly even London.  I would half expect to see a cow idling on the road, flicking off flies with its tail at East End, London than Nariman Point, Mumbai.  I do not know what brought on the change.  It was probably the fast-track life here that eventually got to the general bovine ignorance and lethargy.  It just was not worth the effort for the Holy Cow to position herself in the middle of the road in a city which would probably build a new road around her rather than acknowledge her existence there as a temporary nuisance.  Such blasphemy, to ignore the creature that dates back to the times of Ramayana and Mahabharata!  It is the absence of the cow in  Mumbai that gave birth to the idea of this post.  Well the absence, and the loony in the train who warned of Armageddon lest we get back the cows we so wrongly banished out of this city.  You heard me, a lunatic on the train who ran up and down the entire length of the compartment accusing us of atheism and commanding us all to pay penance.  For if we failed to do so, Mumbai would continue to suffer, in the absence of its saviour - the Holy Cow.  You heard 'em - its no longer a moo-t point!

Chennai - The cows have no inclination to go down south.  They can keep their buffaloes!

Delhi - This city of Djinns has more often than not drawn the ire of people from all over India.  Tell them you're from Delhi and they cringe with that disgusted look on their face as if having accidentally regurgitated puke in their mouth.  I plead guilty for having been part of the same charade despite being a Delhiite myself, probably more so as a consequence of the stories I'd heard rather than the shortcomings of knowing the city having hardly lived there myself.  Irrespective of the reasons, there is a certain sense of antagonism bestowed upon the city dweller's image based more out of their high-handed haughtiness than a miscued representation of their aloofness.  I'd much rather associate a "snotty bitch" with the capital city than with any other in the entire country.  But am not here for Delhi-bashing.  For a change, am not.  Despite all its shortcomings, it is here that the true essence of bovine divination manifests itself.  From the birthing of a calf at Chandni Chowk rife with shouts of a miracle, to the sprawling slum all over the city and its regular diet of dung cakes slapped on to the walls, Delhi remains true to the holiness of the cow.  It is only in the streets of Delhi where, despite our utter disregard for human life with our reckless driving, we make sure the cow stays put and comfortable  plop in the middle of the road.  In this capital city do the skinny dark men decorate the cows in a vibrant blue and roam the traffic lights clanking their donation bowls pleading to the impatient travelers to spare a rupee for Gaey Mata.  Endless windows scroll down, toss a coin, notes at times and scroll up with equal urgency - in a city where women haggle for even the last 50 paise with the vegetable vendor just to have the satisfaction of ending the bargain on their terms!  Holy Cow!

Bovine Divination - *chuckles* :P