Reminiscing of an old Indian fable, a wise man - Birbal - from the court of ministers of the great Mughal emperor Akbar, was once asked by the ruler what was the most relaxing and satisfying human emotion? A very simple question, yet it sent the entire court in a tussle between gratitude, benevolence, and what not - everyone trying to show off their "humane" side. Birbal, being his wise self chose to maintain silence and requested the emperor that he be allowed to demonstrate his answer. The emperor aware of Birbal's wit willingly agreed, hoping to learn the answer the fun way.
In the dead of night Birbal came banging to the emperor's chamber requesting his company on a journey across the river. The emperor reluctantly agreed, sensing the urgency in Birbal's voice. The river waters gushed calmly, the fog set in, the visibility was low, and there anchored along the shore afloat was a rowboat - but nobody to row it. Unfamiliar with such inconvenience the emperor quizically looked at Birbal expecting an explanation, but the wise man just smiled and got onto the boat assuring the emperor he would not have to row. Three quarters of an hour into the journey, the cold was taking its toll, Birbal rowed at a leisurely pace, and the emperor grew restless. Eventually he gave in and pleaded with Birbal to row faster as he had to pee. Birbal with his usual smile informed that they were in the middle and going either way would take at least another three quarters of an hour. He suggested that the emperor satisfy his urge in the river itself. The idea was outrageous to the emperor brought up with such etiquette and he categorically denied any such improper act. Another quarter of an hour passed and the restlessness became unbearable, and the emperor became impatient, the wise man still smiling and rowing. He eventually gave in and threw all his apprehensions out the boat (window :P) letting out a sigh of relief - with a voice in the background saying "sire, this is the most satisfying human emotion" - a hearty laugh followed and they both rowed back home.
Why? Because its a good story but more so since I realised its importance not two days ago. Leaving the gym, I calculated that if I hurried I could catch the minibus in time and not wait for the next one to leave in 15 minutes. Had to pee but thought, a 5 minute ride against a 15 minute wait, I could hold on for some time. So I ran to catch the minibus - made it just in time ! :) Couldn't get a seat so kept shifting my weight from one leg to the other, bobbing forwards and backwards just to keep the pressure from building. Could have made a good club dance move any other day, but all that occupied my mind then was - "just 2 more minutes .. 119 seconds .. 118 .. 117 .. 115 .. 110 .." - yeah I was skipping seconds, because believe it or not, if you are waiting, and you KNOW you're gonne be free of the 'tension' in a few seconds, the pressure builds up even more. So instead of the usual baritone of "Acarlar" to request the driver to halt, a squeak came out, and I hurried off the minibus, brisk walking back to my apartment, hands trembling and missing the keyhole twice. I finally got in.
No no no - how can life be THAT easy ?! I open the door and the phone rings - "hello .. hello .. hellooooooooo" - nobody answers - why would someone bother someone already in a hurry - ack !! So I continue on walking like a penguin by this time, and before I could reach the shining white ceramic, the cellphone rings - on vibration mode - what was luck trying to do - kill me ?! I take the bloody thing out and its one of my friends calling about meeting up - so I take the call, and in a stressed tone - talking more like a Robert de Niro or a Marlon Brando in the Godfather fix up a time and disconnect - hey don't judge me to be rude - I was under a lot of pressure - literally ! I reach the door - glowing, inviting, turn the handle - locked! I turn again - still locked - why oh why ?! "Am in here KG" comes a voice from inside - its one of my flatmates ! Oh bloody hell !! Fortunately we have two restrooms, so I hurry off to the other one - now that one has not been designed for guys pee'in - the lid keeps falling down - so got to adjust that first - 2 more minutes of misery - that taken care of - okay I will save you the details, thankfully for you, but lets just say, even the zipper played spoilt sport that day, and another 5 minutes later only could I go "oh dear heaven on earth" - and the sigh of relief !! :)
I know a lot of people would identify with this experience but would deny it all the same ! :) Never again am I gonna go for a 10 minute time saver and have 10 minutes of misery - the 15 minute wait it shall be ;)
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