The jungle trek - onward journey

From what I recollect, the insects had already bitten us, our feet had gone numb, and we were soaking wet when I last left you ;) The first track brought us rashes and itches, a prelude to what was coming our way. On our way back we caught up with a Kiwi, no not the animal, a New Zealander, probably standing at 6 feet and a few inches, wiping his face with a towel. Not a word was uttered, but the eyes shared the stories, all three of us had been taken for a ride on that trail to end up with a stinky little lake closed somewhere in the heart of Pulau Ubin ;) It is seldom that one accepts that he'd been fooled, but this time round I don't mind the confession, because had it not been for that trail I wouldn't have resolved to explore the whole island come what may and make the day one that'd remain etched in my memory for a long time.

I do not say that every adventure is worth superlatives, but this one shall remain right up there with the other memorable times in Singapore. Not sidetracking anymore, the hike continued on through more turns, uphill slopes, and downhill slides as we reached the main camping site. Ashen coconuts, and little embers of fire rising into the air before shimmering into ash and falling to the ground again, fishing bait spilt on the ground, and a lingering smell of a barbecue freshly put out enthused the air with a sense of calm and serenity. Into the distance we could see the Malaysian islands, and there they came, the 5 SMS messages welcoming us to the Malaysian shores, and though it may sound kiddish on our part, but we were pretty excited to "technically" be in Malaysia. ;) As we skirmished through the map, contemplating the next road to take, tummies started growling, "The Coffee Bean" had to be given a pass in the morning, and at least one part of our body wasn't too happy about it and it was making its views felt. *Plomp* came the rucksack off my friend's back and out came the glorious chocolate spread, jam and bread. Although it sounds like a poor man's meal, trust me in that scorching heat a heavy lunch is the last thing you'd want.

Unlike actual campers we used knives to spread thick creamy layers of jam n chocolate to gulp down the loaves of bread in counts of 3 and once 4. ;) After the much needed "pet pooja", we relaxed and sat down on the sand, legs spread out, under the cool shade of the overbearing palm tree. A cool zephyr blew in from the west, taking with it the fine grains of white sand, making our lips go salty as we just lay, too lazy to twitch even a muscle to get out of the way. Another 10 minutes before we realised it was about time we made a move if we were to catch the high tide at the mangrove boardwalk. Got up, wiped our shorts clean, took our bikes, climbed back up the rocky descent and landed back on the main track. After cycling for about 15-20 minutes, shifting gears in desperation to save up on energy to continue with the trek ahead we reached a clearing in the woods. It was probably the chirps and squeals that made us stop and walk the rest of the way, to be able to soak in the unaltered sounds of the forest and be captivated by the intensity of the place we were in - true, the best way to explore Pulau Ubin is on foot, but only if you have feet of steel! ;) While ambling through the wilderness, a faint murmur presented itself, a very quaint whisper, and it wasn't long before I realised that there was water nearby - the babbling definitely had to be coming from there.

We got off the walking track and took a detour into the bushy carpet once again, tearing past thorns and avoiding ant hills as much as we could. I was right, though only partially, a stench caught our nostrils and the mind screeched to turn back and head towards the bikes, which now lay on a bed of dry leaves. But we hurried along forward, and there under a small clearing beneath a half fallen tree we could see gentle ripples washing onto the shore seaweed and algae. The smell was unbearable, but so was the ecstasy of supposing we had stumbled upon some unexplored country ;) Only a few souls, I like to imagine, would have actually seen Singapore from this tiny shore and oh sweet moses was the view just breathtaking - lined along the shore small buildings, with tiny specks of boats - magnificence! Some 5 metres away from us lay on a rock, a weird specimen - we poked it with a stick, even splashed some water onto it in the anticipation of it opening up like an oyster - nope no fairytale here, we gave up and walked on. It wasn't long after that short detour that we reached the gates of the Indian Ocean boardwalk.

We parked our bikes somewhere near I don't know where :P I guess the excitement of the boardwalk got the better of us as we even forgot to lock our bikes - but then again its Singapore, and where would one go with the bike - its a friggin' island ;) Anyways, we continued onto the boardwalk - I have been near water a lot of times, I have been knee deep in water a lot of times, I have seen different waters, I have seen 'em all, but I had never seen what I saw that afternoon, and had never been so fascinated with water. A swaying walk over the ocean, fishes, crabs - all visible, it was not so much one thing that drew attention but the whole moment engulfed your conscious state of mind and elevated you into a trance where you just wanted to sit down and stare into the distance. We did exactly that and for moments, nobody spoke, soothing silence, except for the waves crashing against the rocks behind us, the wind blowing through our hair, the wet t-shirts, a shiver running down our spines as the wind got chilly with the incoming high tide. In the distance we could see a small beach, my guess a privately owned one, lined with rocks, rising structures built by nature, carved into the landscape, the kind where a snap does no justice, but a painter's fine strokes on a blank canvas do ;)

Time to move on - we shifted track to the mangrove boardwalk. Don't worry, I won't call this fascinating since I know for the informed reader a talk of science that fascinates isn't all that enticing as is the talk of natural splendour ;) I guess despite 5 paragraphs in this post talk about nothing but Pulau Ubin, words can never replace the feeling you get - to be shooting downhill, as if in free fall, how it just lets the mind loose, and how the child in you relives the past, delving into the immature self and moulding from it a memorable day that made you forget all your worries even if for just a day ;)

To have heard the story of the ocean with your ear pressed against a sea-shell - that is bliss - that is Pulau Ubin ;)

The bum-boat trip

Saturday night we decided after racking our brains for an hour, to go to Pulau Ubin, an island flanked off the coast of Singapore. I wouldn't say it was easiest of decisions to convince a bunch of unwilling lazy ass morons to have fun on a Sunday. So it was agreed upon, 6 a.m. we leave, have breakfast at "The Coffee Bean" which offered free coffee refills till 8 in the morning, and from there on continue on to our destination. Sure we didn't take an oath or anything, but the fact that whoever was late in the morning would have his ass fried on a pan was reason enough to tuck into bed at 12 in the night, and switch the goddamn TV off !

The alarm rang, with all its vigour and ear-wrenching pain. And like always, I sub-consciously woke up, scratched my butt, sleep-walked to the loo, pee'd, switched the shrill shriek off, cozied under the blanky and dozed off again. Only to wake up with a head-rush at 9:00 and go "Oh shit!!" :P Went through the morning chores, got ready, and after another round of convincing, got one of the nincompoops to tag along for Pulau Ubin. After a tiring half-hour train journey, we reached the Changi Village jetty terminal. On board a bumboat that swayed from side to side as if about to capsize, we both went out onto the board, to have the splashing water in our face, and dabble our hands in the icy water, only to be yelled at by the boat driver, in what I can only imagine was some local Malay dialect :P Finally getting off on the Pulau Ubin jetty, we scouted for someone looking intelligent enough to operate a Nikon D80 and click a snap of the two of us, but to no avail, before a sweet lil Chinese lady offered to help and clicked, to do her justice, a pretty good snap :)

With the next bumboat arriving behind us, fully loaded with yapping bunch of girls, we decided to hurry up to the bike rentals. Now this is the point in the story where my popping vein starts throbbing on and off. Browsing through the neat bikes, we came across a shop offering a range from SGD 2 till SGD 15. A conflict of interest arose here. I took the side of the SGD 10 brand new Shimano-geared mountain bikes, while the prick with me wanted the run-down, gear-less SGD 2 run-of-the-mill trash. For those aware of my tongue, it would come as no surprise that I rode out on a sparkling red brand new bike while he was on a new blue mountain bike :P The first stopover was for drinks, we'd started dehydrating already in the scorching heat - I went in for 100 Plus, and he savoured his usual coconut water. Time to set out, we pedalled our way through twists and turns, up slopes, down the hill, as we drew near the first quarry.

I could go on to describe the entire day to you, minute by minute, but I guess you do not have the dedication to enjoy the whole trip nor do I have the inclination to keep writing beyond the last sip of my Stella Artois I'm sipping on right now. Yup, its chilled, little drops of dew condensing on the coaster (aww I know you're jealous). There on, we continued on our bikes, to every nook and cranny of the island we could possibly get our wheels on. At this juncture, I'd like to bring to your attention just one fact - learn how to fix the chain of a bike, my friend learnt it the hard way as I pained his happiness because he couldn't fix his, after derailing it TWICE ! :P If you ever, per chance, happen to travel with me and act an ignorant fool, trust me I won't hesitate for even a second to barbecue your tinsy winsy heiny and have it with sumptuous salsa ;)

Earthen trails were the most endearing feats of Pulau Ubin as we tried our first track on wheels, taking sharp turns, difficult up-slope hikes, feet itching with the grass not caressing but rather giving launching platforms to insects to latch onto the freakishly hairy legs, we Indian blokes have been endowed with! :) Sweat dripping off every exposed body part, the scorching heat drilling into our head, feet all red with insect bites, we toiled through the trails, to discover at the end of it, a serene lake, lined with pebbles, and afloat in the middle, seemed like a small branch broken off the overlying canopy. Time for D80 to show some magic, I zoomed in to click what I hoped would be one of my most inspiring clicks, but alas, an open Evian bottle is what it turned out to be :( Stupid idiotic jerk who threw it in, may that water burn when he pee's it out !

We continued onward, but at this point, the last drop of Stella Artois fizzles down my throat and as promised, I draw this post to a close. Wait for the second part of this endearing journey. If you think the whackiest is already over, you're in for a surprise ! ;)

Till we meet next .. Au revoir ;)

How to flunk the sling ;)

They say it rained crazy on Friday night, thunder struck and the streets of Singapore didn't get a reprieve from the constant downpour. Little would I know after falling asleep like a baby with an aching butt after the workout at the gym. Rise and shine Saturday morning, a workout at the gym, a glass full of milk and a yummy chocolate to munch on, was followed by a warm shower, and of course yours truly giving challenge to the winners of American Idol :)

Got into my Quiksilver red t-shirt and black shorts and a 'voila twinkle in the eye' as I looked into the mirror giving a thumbs-up. On my way to the island I figured it'd be better to grab a quick bite, never know this place just might in keeping with its tradition not allow me to eat anything on the way :( Enter Bread Toast - no its a chain of bakeries, course I wouldn't go for JUST a toast - sheesh ! A cheese boat and a blueberry puff it was with home-made iced lemon tea. For the uninitiated, home-made refers to the fact that it was made there and then, and had the engaging aroma to it a whiff of which would send you on a spin. Bollocks to the rules, I happily munched my way to the MRT station exit en route the cable car to Sentosa Island. Now I'm not a cynic, well at least not in the true sense of the word - bet there must be a pair of eyes going gol-gol right now ;) - but there is just so much that you can resist yourself from ridiculing. If the person with you actually walks up to the ticket window and asks for the return timing of the cable car, and on being replied to as 11 o'clock, actually asks "am or pm" there is no way in hell that I'd keep my mouth shut! For heaven's sake people, its 9 in the morning, how can the last cable car due back be in just 2 hours ?! Anyways, there we were letting out ooh's and aah's as we saw the Singapore skyline, a vague outline which we christened as Indonesia and Malaysia on either side, more so to feed our ego of having seen such a feature rather than the truth itself - in short, we know crap what those islands were :P

Getting off the cable car, we ambled into the courtyard, where we met Jeremy, our tour guide. Yes, like three ol hags we'd taken a guided tour for the first two hours, however, I would like to mention that I was STRICTLY against it - but alas, when money talks, you shut up :P I swear if I'd not known him to be a tour guide, I'd have definitely thought Jeremy was high on coke or crack. The enthusiasm these people exude while showing you around just induces that excitement in you, hell you'd even be amazed on spotting a caterpillar on the sidewalk. The first stop was the underwater aquarium - yeah I know you're probably wondering what's so special about fish swimming around? Consider this now - a sting ray with a tail that spans 2 m, another sting ray that almost jumps up from out of the water to bite your nose off if you get too close, fish that look as if reincarnated from fossils, crabs - including the world's largest Japanese crab on display, a tunnel with water on three sides, where you can literally see how a sting ray's bottom actually resembles a man's face! Still not impressed I see - well, ever taken up a starfish in your hand and dangled it around in a pool of water, or have you ever patted a sting ray on the tail, tingling its skin softly, or ever tried catching hold of a small fish and NOT letting it slip away? Ah but beware, I save the best for last - ever caught hold of a SHARK ?! Eyup, you read that right, no need to rub your eyes again and blink like a cartoon ;) Well the other two twits with me were too chicken to try it out and weaseled out of it, their loss, well apart from yours too - too bad you all ain't in Singapore :P

Next show was the Cineblast - a simulation theatre with 4-D effects, not just 3-D but the fourth dimension was "feeling" - not my words, that's how corny a line Jeremy came up with to have the tourists swooning ;) Up til this point, just like devout Indians we had made sure we got the best part of the deal and stuck close with Jeremy to catch every detail along the way. But alas, hunger struck, and as always the two dimwits got hungry, so went into a store to get some chips. Result - we were at the back of the queue and the last ones before the audi got full - argh ! But Jeremy to the rescue again - and he led us to the third attraction, promising us to make sure we were back in time to enjoy the 4-D ride soon after. This part is the movie theatre - another 4-D gimmick. A kid's movie, on pirates, it had a few effects - not so great but I liked the parts where they spray water at the back of your neck from the seat to make you tingle, and the bees' sound effects and 3-D motion as if they were just about to sting you, slimy crabs crawling all over your feet as you got more nauseous. After the 10-minute feature presentation, during which the entire time one of the nincompoops could not keep his mouth shut and kept cribbing about having wasted money on the movie - think he was expecting a "star trek" experience.

Anyhoo, moving on, we made it back before time, and were again at the head of the queue for the simulation game. Crunch, munch, crackle, crumble as the pigs ate and dropped crumbs on the floor stepping on them and making a mess. A word of advice now - if ever per chance you end up going to such a show, NEVER sit between two idiots! It was an amazing show, we were basically logs who were being thrown around in the Himalayas, ending up in the Amazon river, attacked by crocs, chopped with sharp edges, thrown into free fall off cliffs - boy was that fun. Wondering where the catch is? Well, the moron to my left sang "Maahi Ve" from the Hindi movie "Kaante" the whole goddamn fucking time, and the freak to my right was mimicking my ooh's and aah's to the extent that he was moving around his seat for no reason - if the simulation threw us forward, he'd overdo it with a sideways jerk too - come on man - one plus one free offer does not go for simulation rides - jeez. Fumes would be coming off the top of my head if I'd been a cartoon.

There was still time for the Dolphin show, so we decided to go along the dragon trail instead. A circular walk around the western half of Sentosa, the trail was inspiring, not to forget the fact that we discovered a dragon carcass ;) Got up on a fountain, polluted it with our feet, splashed some water and of course the all time favourite, singing out loud till your voice breaks off :P There's a lot to say bout the walk, but I guess the snaps we took there would say more than the words I might put in here :)

Finally, the star attraction of the day - the dolphin show was about to begin. A poppy and his son - am talking about the dolphins now - were the one showing off their antics. First to start off a wave of the fin to say "hello", followed by a clean jump through the hoops. Standard issue dolphin shows right? Ah but there's more, ask the dolphin how many fish it wants - one - a shake of the head - two - another shake - the whole box - a nod and boy were they happy to see a box full of fish thrown into the sea :P Two people from the audience were called down into the water - I raised my hand but as always didn't get picked :( The dolphins swam around them, grabbed fish off their hands, let 'em pat their back, and last of all, gave them such a cute lil peck on the cheek. There;s more that happened during that show, but I'd spare you the details.

Such a wonderful day commanded a signature sign-off for the day - my idea of the cool breeze blowing, sitting on the deck of a dark open bar on the beach on an easy-chair, sipping on some cool beer, shirt open and a wonderful gal right next to you ;) I wouldn't say we didn't do any of the above, but do read on to see how the dream was stripped apart and shred into pieces by the two assholes with me (they got promoted to that status after what follows :) ). We ended up at an Indian bar-cum-restaurant, sitting on uncomfortable high chairs, ordering a Singapore sling, on which one of the idiots got drunk, onion bhajia - that came out like slimy onions wrapped in paper, and to top it all off songs from Hindi movies playing - the kind where the hero dances around a tree calling out for the heroine to come and join him. And you wondered why during the entire post I called those jerks names :P

The sling was awesome though, apparently not the real thing I've been told, but a visit then to the southern most tip of Asia, and a few playful brattiness tricks on the beach got me right back on track as we got back onto the cable car on our way back, the sun setting in the west - a day well spent - a time worth having :)

PS Too bad if you all missed out on Singapore till now !

Son of a beach ..

Yeah the title sounds really cocky, but I like the ingenuity of it, so decided to stick with it. The Far East beach is supposedly the most happening one in Singapore, however opinions differ. Ranging from a Hyderabadi calling it "a fraud way of making money" to a Delhiite like me freaking out and playing like a 10-year old, everyone feels something or the other at this 5 meter stretch of sand along the sea. Agreed its not one of the ideal sitcom material beaches like those in Australia and India, but eventually its all about what you make of the moment being there.

We landed on the sand at around 6 in the evening after a long train journey from one end of the city to the other. A sand castle competition had just reached the ending stage, and excitement filled the air. Everyone was buzzing, talking, from what I could make out, in at least 3 different languages. I got down onto one knee to take a closer at the finesse with which the teams made their castles - I am not exaggerating when I say that making sand castles is an art! Sweat dripping off the chin, intense eyes, concentrating hard not to give too much of a dab to the small rivulet flowing under the gate. The whistle blew and the hustle-bustle came to a sudden standstill. It was time for the judges' verdict - to come after 15 minutes. I scampered down to the beach, not really a scurry because I distinctly remember it was more like a squirrel after a nut than a rat running for cover ;) Flung my flip flops into the sand and ran into the water, till I fell forward for sheer force of the water, t-shirt all wet, and me laughing like crazy as if it was the first time to have touched water. I splashed. Sprang. Ran. Lay. Danced. Gazed into the distance. But I did not pee! It was time to announce the winners, and though I couldn't get which team won, but twas the one in the middle that was being ooh'd and aah'd. But what really set the mood for the evening for me was the fact that all teams stood together like one unit around the castle and said "cheese" for the camera :)

A Thai boy (he had the name sprawled all over his t-shirt) came up close to me and threw sand at me. Nah, I didn't go all red, instead he got a splash of water along with seaweed on his head. We chased each other on the beach, laughing, and me pulling down his shorts once as he whined, pulled 'em up and started scurrying after me again - yup he definitely was scurrying! ;) Both of us got tired, and we sat down, letting the water tingle our toes and draw back, before his mommy called to go home. The lil fella had the cutest "ba ba" for a goodbye. Sat there for a few more minutes, looking into the distance, completely blank, not thinking, funnily enough. The sun had already set, a line of ships defining the horizon lit up, a majestic view, as if the twinkling lights celebrated life. It was getting a little late and the tummy had started rumbling, demanding food, the stage for a request had long gone.

Made my way through the beach-side stalls, peeking in to see if there was anything to munch on without having to choke on seaweed. I have begun to doubt that the seaweed used here is actually an easy catch along the shore! :P Reached a joint selling coconuts, bought one and sipped on the definitely genetically engineered hunk of a coconut. Walked down to the lake, sat on the grass and enjoyed my drink as water skiers, boarded, glided and eventually fell off into the lake. The cool breeze blowing, my hair NOT flowing, the evening serene. Some might still say that I had a very mundane day and there are things that might have been more fun, but what the heck, I had fun - and I don't give a damn for anything else. True this wasn't one of those more hilarious posts but it's definitely one I enjoyed writing, coz today is the day I got my groove back! ;)

Of etiquette and common sense ..

In the mid-20s it becomes a dilemma as to whether we are youngsters or mature adults. The anxiety of responsibilities lingers and the fervour of youth remains. At such a juncture in life simple things might get a little too complicated. I experienced such a confusion yesterday in Singapore. At the outset of this post I'd like to send a disclaimer that I ain't all that well versed with table manners et al so pardon my ignorance :)

Two of my friends and I were having lunch yesterday at the "Outback Steakhouse" - I still maintain that I'm a vegetarian ;) Truth be told, despite having had a crab already at a Jap restaurant, I didn't have the balls to go in for the fish after looking at the photograph in the menu, so like a devout Indian, I ordered the murgi .. chicken wings to be precise. Now normally I'd not give a damn about the way I ate, but unfortunately one of the two guys was a chinku and I just had to hold my country's head high and show him that we have good table manners too. The order was placed and the chinku, hereon referred to as D'Seung (disclaimer: I do not know how to spell his name, so ma guessing from the way it sounds that this would be the spelling) ordered the marinated or something like that grilled fish. We waited, about 20 minutes before the dishes arrived. The chicken wings in front of me and my friend (obviously a serving each) and the gooey, dark almost alive salmon in front of D'Seung. Very conscious of having non-Indian company, I picked up the knife and fork, fiddling with them, switching hands unsure of which one to hold in the right hand and which in the left! Finally, the fork ended up in the right and the knife in the left ( DO NOT bother correcting me if I was wrong). The urge was to chuck the fork and knife and start gnawing at the wings, because c'mon whoever had a boney piece of chicken with a knife and a fork in India ?!

I struggled with the first two pieces, creating more of clattering noise with the fork banging against he porcelain plate than the kid whining on the next table. A chunk of meat actually flew by near the water, as I conveniently placed the coaster over the broken rock from the plate I saw carrots on my plate, liberation at last! I put the knife and fork down, munching happily on carrots with cheese dip. But alas, as I slowly nibbled my way to the end of the last carrot, the soiled cutlery was staring in my face, daring me to pick them up and make a meal out of the chicken. Unwavered from my resolve of proving a point by sticking to the fork and knife, I went about the turmoil again, so much so that after the fifth piece I had to put the fork down as the slicing and pulling had sent the joints of my index finger numb. All this while I hadn't been paying heed to D'Seung except for of course the occasional question to make small talk. At the last piece I surrendered and gently placed the fork and knife in a closing position on the plate, careful not to cause a clatter, as if that were going to change the fact that I had made sure that the passers-by outside the restaurant knew there was porcelain plates inside!

Sipped on the ice water, and looked in different directions, anything to get my mind off the last piece, and as I watched D'Seung munch happily on his fish with parts of it in hand, I just could not stop staring. Here I was busting my ass to look good and well versed in table manners, and there was this chinku who just wanted to enjoy his meal come what may. The embarrassment didn't let me pick up the last piece and munch at it joyfully, but I realised one thing - its our thinking that keeps us ahead or behind people, I've been looking down upon our culture as not congenial to the modern ways, but I guess I was wrong. I mean who was I kidding, chicken wings with a fork and a knife ?! Gimme a break !! I consciously killed the inner voice in me that told me to pick up the piece for heaven;s sake and just bite at it.

End result - I ended up wearing a kurta to a pub today and got a few smiles on my way out ;) This place is cosmopolitan so make the most of it, as long as you think you're confident of what you do, nobody can take that charm away from you. So here I am, still in my kurta, a little drunk after the Heineken, sporting a Singaporean hairdo telling you of the time I, contrary to my usual behaviour, gave in to etiquette and fed common sense to the dogs! ;)