O in God's name what da fuck was that ?! :O

Of all the worst nightmares you've ever had, the ones that suck the most ain't the scariest ones, but those that don't make you pee in bed and instead stay up all night wondering how da bloody hell could that ever happen ?! :O Nah .. don't think you've still gauged the enormity (imagine .. i couldn't think o this word a few days back!! :P) of the situation here! Lemme reframe the idea - imagine the feeling of a hefty vada pav you've had regurgitating and workin its way up your throat unwilling to go down or come up, choking you there and then, leaving you to painfully fritter away into the afterlife, acidity in your tummy's makin you burp and the stench stays on around you making the excruciating pain inhuman and absolutely unbearable!!!!! And worst of all .. THINK .. if you actually paid for such torture !! As if bein knee deep in shit wasn't enough, you actually get to pay extra for the lil additions of solid fluids and liquid pastes flowin in ! :(

The name's "Johnny Gaddar" - the nemesis that confirmed that there is a bigger evil in this world than Satan himself ! :P A Bollywood movie aimed at an audience that the director prolly assumed wouldn't have even a shred of sense or a hint of grey goo in their heads ever since birth, Johnny Gaddar (hereon referred to as JG coz there's a million veins that go pop inside my head sayin it out loud ;( ) illustrates painfully at a snail's pace the life of 4 conmen. Wonderin what could possibly go wrong with a movie on conmen .. aww .. will remove all your doubts ..

1. Conman 1 - An old hag with wrinkles all over his face showing through his make-up, trying to enact his young self of yester years and in the process coming across as a lame shadow of a desperate showman who even had to dye his moustache black !! :P Lo and behold .. Dharmendra paaji ! ;)
2. Conman 2 - I held this fella in awe till he performed in this movie. A conman who wags his doggie tail in front o his overbearin wife, and would faint at even the mention of a murder - how the hell is that supposed to NOT make me laugh at such a pathetic excuse for a fraudster ?! :P - Vinay
   
3. Conman 3 - Oh this bloke was the corniest of the lot. His idea of being the bad guy stemmed from a weird dressing sense - suited more to advertising for technicolor in movies or the stripes that appeared at the beginning of a VCR tape we used to watch when kiddies :P His dark side was revealed to the audience through remarks like "Meri biwi hai .. ya to mere saath drink pi ya mere pair daba" .. O da bloody humanity !! Who the fuck talks like that now ?! :P
4. Conman 4 - Our hero .. da gaddar himself! A morose freak who couldn't even manage a single gesture or expression on his face went on a killing spree! Wanna know what the funny part is - none of the fellow conmen he murdered had even the slightest doubts that he was the traitor .. and before every murder there was a confession that all the previous ones weren't intentional! You seriously gotta give it to the writer to actually comprehend such crap that borders on lunacy .. he had the audacity to actually think of us as doomed buffoons by showin someone who freakin killed people on the premise that they knew bout him, when he was the one makin the totally outta context confession !! ROTFL !! " O sorry dude .. just so you know .. am gonna kill you ... it ain't intentional .. but tis your fault that you now know that I'm gonna kill ya " DUH !! :P

I could very well go on but am guessin you've already made a couple o visits to the loo to puke while readin bout this irresistible account! :P Ah jealous are we ? ;) To top it all off we had to watch the movie along the front row with the stench of my friend's relentless farts, rotting food and red dabs of what i can only imagine ain't blood !! ;( Throughout the movie all I could think of was .. I actually PAID to go through this hell hole !! And NO .. it ain't funny in a sad kinda way .. and am NOT tellin this story to my grandkids !!

Oh crap .. have been writin on movies a lot lately .. jeez ! I need to get myself a drink !! :O